Inner Critic Work: Why Your C-PTSD Makes You So Hard on Yourself (And What You Can Do About It)

You mess up something small—like forgetting to respond to a text or being five minutes late—and the voice in your head goes off like a fire alarm. "You're so inconsiderate. You can't do anything right. Everyone thinks you're a mess."

Other people shake off these minor mistakes, but for you, they feel like evidence of something fundamentally wrong with who you are. That relentless, harsh voice isn't just you being hard on yourself. 

It's your inner critic, and if you have C-PTSD, there's a good chance it's been running the show for most of your life.

When you have C-PTSD, you’re more likely to have low self-esteem caused by a really loud (and annoying) inner critic. But, you don’t have to listen to everything inner-you says—which is where “inner critic work” comes in and supports.

Where the Inner Critic Comes From (And What an Inner Critic Is)

When therapists talk about "inner critic work," we're really talking about inner child work or inner parenting work. The inner critic is basically the bully that formed during childhood. It's made up of the messages you heard from caregivers, parents, teachers, or other adults that were harsh, shaming, dismissive, or unnecessarily cruel.

For people with C-PTSD, these experiences weren't one-time things. They happened repeatedly. You may have been shamed or blamed for doing something wrong, or even for doing something completely normal for a kid, without being given clear explanations or guidance. 

Instead of being taught or supported, you were talked down to or made to feel bad about yourself.

Over time, you absorbed these messages. What was once an external voice turned into an internal one. That harsh, judgmental voice you hear as an adult? It's often not your true voice at all. It's the echo of the adults who had power over you when you were young.

With C-PTSD, your inner critic is usually a mix of many voices rather than one single person. It might sound like your mom when she was stressed, your dad when he was disappointed, your teacher when you made a mistake, all rolled into one relentless commentary on everything you do.

Believe it or Not, Your Inner Critic is Actually Trying to Protect You

Here's something that might surprise you: from a parts-work perspective, your inner critic is actually trying to protect you. It learned early on that in order to be safe, accepted, or not punished, you had to behave perfectly. 

Its job became monitoring you closely, pointing out mistakes, and trying to control your behavior so you wouldn't get yelled at, shamed, or rejected again.

Because this part is tied to fear, it feels very loud, intense, and urgent. It's not trying to torture you. It's trying to keep you safe using the only tools it learned: shame and criticism.

Except, for many people with C-PTSD, this inner critic developed without a balancing inner parent. If you didn't experience consistent, healthy parenting, you didn't internalize a loving, supportive parental voice. You only internalized the critical one.

That leaves your inner critic and inner child interacting without any healthy mediation. The inner child is just trying to exist, learn, and grow, while the critical parent manages through shame and blame in an attempt to keep you safe. It recreates the same unhealthy dynamic that existed in childhood.

First Step in Inner Critic Work: Developing Your Inner Loving Parent

Inner critic work in therapy focuses on developing an inner loving parent. This is the part of you that can hold a balanced, compassionate, realistic perspective. An inner loving parent understands that marketing mistakes doesn’t mean you’re bad or unworthy.

Instead of "You failed, you're terrible," the inner loving parent might say, "That didn't go how you hoped, but you tried hard. We can learn from this and try again."

This voice helps build emotional resilience. It encourages growth through support and belief rather than fear or shame. It can motivate you without tearing you down, help you tolerate discomfort while still feeling worthy and supported.

The goal isn't to eliminate all shame. Healthy shame helps us recognize when we've hurt someone or crossed a boundary. But the work is about moving away from the overwhelming, toxic shame that makes you feel wrong on even your best days.

What Changes When You Do Inner Critic Work? Here’s What to Know:

Your inner critic is mostly just an annoying background noise—right now, at least. It’s busy reinforcing your low self-esteem, anxiety, and evening partially fueling the trauma-bonding that often pairs with C-PTSD.

When you’re constantly being told by yourself that you’re not good enough, it’s hard to feel confident enough (or comfortable enough) to take risks, build MORE confidence, or believe you deserve good things.

Learning to develop your “inner loving parent” doesn’t mean you stop holding yourself accountable for your actions—it just means you learn how to do it in a way a good parent relates to their child: with compassions, realistic expectations, and a belief that you’re capable of growth.

If you want to learn more, we highly recommend reading the Loving Parent Guidebook (basically your guidebook to learning how to develop inner healthy parenting!!).

Are you struggling with your inner critic along with your C-PTSD? At Ditch the Couch, we can help you understand where it comes from and develop a better relationship with yourself. Live in NY or NJ? Book your free 15-minute consultation to explore how we can support you!