Object Permanence and ADHD Explained: Your Guide to ADHD and Forgetfulness
Out of sight, out of mind isn't just a saying when you have ADHD—it's basically how your brain operates. You forget to text people back the second you close the app. You buy duplicates of things you already own because you can't see them.
That friend you meant to call? Completely slipped your mind the moment they weren't standing in front of you.
When you have ADHD, this probably sounds painfully familiar. And while it's not technically a lack of object permanence, it sure feels like it.
Let’s talk about object permanence and ADHD:
What Is Object Permanence (and What It Isn’t)
Object permanence is a developmental milestone that happens in infancy—it's understanding that things continue to exist even when you can't see them.
People with ADHD don't actually lack object permanence. You know your keys still exist when they're not in your hand.
The issue is that ADHD affects your working memory and attention, which means if something isn't immediately visible or top-of-mind, your brain essentially forgets it exists in any practical sense. It's less "out of sight, ceases to exist" and more "out of sight, completely inaccessible to my brain right now."
So, while it’s not technically a lack of object permanence, the side effects are the same (RIP).
Why ADHD Makes You Forget Everything
ADHD impacts working memory—your brain's ability to hold and manipulate information in the short term. With ADHD, things/situations are either NOW or NOT NOW. Anything that gets shoved into the Not Now category essentially doesn't exist until it finally gets placed in the NOW category, which usually happens via a tight deadline or alarm (if you remembered to set it, that is).
This is why you can walk into a room and immediately forget why you went there, or why someone can tell you something important and you forget it thirty seconds later.
When something isn't directly in your line of sight or actively on your mind, your ADHD brain struggles to keep it accessible.
This affects everything: relationships, tasks, objects, commitments, basically anything that requires you to remember something exists when you're not looking at it.
This is why you forget to respond to texts even when you care deeply about the person. Why you buy three bottles of the same shampoo because you forgot you had one in the shower. Why important tasks disappear from your awareness the moment you close your planner.
ADHD Object Permanence Examples: What This Looks Like in Real LIfe
People: You genuinely care about your friends, but if they're not actively reaching out or you don't see them regularly, they completely slip your mind. It's not that you don't love them—your brain just isn't holding them in active awareness.
Tasks: You make a to-do list, feel great about it, then completely forget it exists five minutes later because it's in a drawer or a different app. If it's not staring you in the face, it might as well not exist.
Objects: You lose your phone, keys, wallet, or glasses constantly because the second you put them down, your brain stops tracking where they are. You own multiple phone chargers, water bottles, and sunglasses because you keep forgetting you already have them.
Appointments and commitments: Even things you've written down can disappear from your awareness if you're not looking at your calendar constantly. You double-book yourself or completely forget plans you were genuinely excited about.
What Actually Helps (And How to Get Help)
Thankfully, when you know there’s an issue, you can create strategies to help! For example, you can:
Make everything visible. Clear containers for storage, open shelving, sticky notes everywhere. If you can't see it, you'll forget it exists, so design your space accordingly.
Use your phone obsessively. Set reminders for everything—texts to send, tasks to do, people to check in with. Your phone is the one thing you probably look at constantly, so use it.
Create external systems. Don't rely on your brain to remember things. Use apps, alarms, visual cues, and physical reminders. Your working memory isn't reliable, so build systems that don't depend on it.
Put things in your path. Need to remember something for tomorrow? Put it somewhere you literally can't avoid seeing it, like in front of the door or on top of your shoes.
Understanding that your forgetfulness isn't personal failing but a working memory issue can help reduce the shame around it. You're not careless or thoughtless—your brain just works differently, and you need systems that accommodate that reality.
Tired of forgetting everything and feeling bad about it? We can help you understand your ADHD brain and build systems that actually work. Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation.